The Only Three New Year Resolutions You'll Ever Need

Five years ago, I stopped making resolutions. Sure, I wanted to lose a few pounds, read more books, spend more time with family and friends and get some exercise. I had innumerable professional goals that I strove to accomplish as well. But like everyone else, I became frustrated with the fleeting nature of all those January 1 aspirations.

I sat down and asked myself not what I wanted to change in the coming 12 months, but instead, what were the things I valued that extended across my personal and professional life? I was able to envelope these into a few manageable tenets that drive my actions year-round.

BE PRESENT: I’m all for meditation, mindfulness and staying Zen in a complex world. But Being Present has a larger meaning for me.

• Show up (preferably on time).

• Be brave. Try something new and scary.

• Find the courage to get on the metaphorical bike, fall off the bike, and get back on it again.

• Engage in work that impacts the greatest number of people in positive ways.

• Listen intently without thinking about what I’m going to say next.

• Admit when I’m wrong.

• Be there for my friends, family, colleagues, clients and for strangers too.

• Be better every day by learning, listening, and engaging deeply in my work and the world.

Think of all the goals that could live under the umbrella of “Be Present” and you’ll understand how well this tenet has served me.

TAKE CARE: This is my catch-all reminder to treat people with respect and to take care of those I know and others who are a world away but still need my help. When I take care I:

• Volunteer my time and expertise.

• Donate generously.

• Take care of business honestly, authentically and with transparency.

• Stand up for my beliefs and for others.

• Go the extra mile for my clients.

• Wear headphones on the commuter train so that I don’t become homicidal when someone is speaking loudly on their cellphone (This conflicts with my resolve to Be Present, but sometimes sacrifices must be made.)

• Take a moment from my day to stop and help lost tourists, carry strollers up subway stairs and generally be a good citizen.

 EXPRESS GRATITUDE: I’m grateful that my life’s work, by its very nature, requires me to say “please” and “thank you” nearly every day. And there are many other ways to offer gratitude. My favorites are:

• Sending hand-written thank you notes. It’s a lost art.

• Phoning to say thank you. Again, a lost art.

• Remaining positive and empathetic.

• Saying thank you to my co-workers at the end of every day no matter what kind of day it’s been.

• Publicly acknowledging a job well-done or a great idea.

It turns out expressing gratitude may be good for our health as well. Copious research is finding that gratitude can lower our blood pressure, reduce anxiety and improve our immune system.

These three tenets may not qualify as traditional resolutions, but I suspect they’re all I’ll need to get through any year.

What about you?

Turn Your Gala from a Four Letter Word into a Five-Star Success

Good God, it’s Gala season! You’re entitled to be a little stressed. In a January report on the top ten most stressful jobs, published…

Originally published at DUNCH, March 2017

Good God, it’s Gala season! You’re entitled to be a little stressed. In a January 2017 report on the top ten most stressful jobs, published by CareerCast, “Event Coordinator” shares the dubious honor with Firefighter, Airline Pilot, and Military Personnel. Nevertheless, we know that you will take a deep breath and meet the challenge of engaging your volunteers, delighting your donors, and raising money all at the same time.

There’s no need to tell you why you must go with colored linens or an electronic check-in system. (Although, since you asked, it’s better to schedule the soup course after the speeches. No speaker wants to compete with the sound of hundreds of spoons clanging against bone china.) As a matter of fact, let’s not talk about the event at all. Say what?

Instead, we’re turning our attention to what happens when the last drink has been consumed, the band has packed up, and the podium has been stored away. Our wish for you is that you turn your Gala from an, ahem,” four-letter word” into a five-star success by focusing on everything that happens after the event.

First, let’s go back to basics. Events are one of the many ways you can engage your constituents. They’re particularly important for organizations without ongoing donor engagement activities. It’s an occasion for a nonprofit’s community to celebrate a milestone (“Hey, we made it through another year!”), share stories of success, or honor a beloved volunteer. Most ambitious Galas do it all at once. We eat, we drink, we make merry. And then we go home feeling good about having supported a noble cause. But wait…

When we ask clients to tell us about the week following the Gala, most talk about the process of generating acknowledgement letters, emailing pictures, communicating the revenue to committees, and holding Monday morning debriefs to improve the event next year. These are all great. Connecting with new friends made at the event is even better:

• Call your board and committee members and ask them to tell you who sat at their tables, and who was impressed with the organization or moved by that beautiful, heartfelt video you spent three weeks producing. Would your volunteer be willing to make an introduction and bring the new friend on a site visit?

• Connect with the auction losers—those unfortunate souls who bid high, but not quite high enough. Call them up, thank them for their persistence, their attendance, and then ask them out to lunch. Their interest may have been solely in the auction item, but perhaps you can stir interest in your organization as well.

• Was there someone in the room you’d consider honoring next year? Call them up and seal the deal. The warm or urgent event vibe fades a little every day that passes between the event and your phone call. Don’t wait.

• What about all the people who attended the event as a guest of someone else? Prior to the event, decide on a mechanism to capture their contact information, and make more new friends. Many nonprofit leaders believe that you must wait before asking donors to give again. We disagree. In the days following event, ask a donor to earmark an additional gift to a program that was highlighted at the event.

Think of the event as the start of a conversation with your donors, not the end; the overture, the first act, the entrance to a great exhibition. You’ve given them, by way of your event, a sneak peek into your organization’s incredible work. The event may be over, but the development of these new friends is just beginning.

10 More Nonprofit Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I humbly submit to you another 10 lessons I learned the hard way serving on the leadership teams of nonprofits. Think about minimizing organizational drama and maximizing your impact by adopting some of these in your work.

1. Accept help. Rarely will you look back and wish that you’d done it all yourself. When you accept help, you’re not only helping yourself. You’re giving someone else the opportunity to create, to soar and to save the day. It’s all good.

2. Take time today to think about tomorrow. As a leader, it’s critical that you poke your head out of the weeds every day to plan for what’s next tomorrow, next month and next year.

3. Do your homework. Be a boy or girl scout and always "be prepared." Whether it’s a Board meeting, a donor solicitation or a staff confab, always be the one who shows up on time, having read the minutes, performed the research etcetera, etcetera.

4. Let history be your guide.  Once upon a time I took a class with a guy who had run the finance department of a world-class dance company. He admired that new hires came to their roles with enthusiasm and ideas but was frustrated that so many seemed reluctant to learn lessons from what and who came before them. This often resulted in over-zealous budget projections both in the revenue and expense columns. Ouch.

5. Set an example. Be generous with your time, your talent and (to the extent that you can) your wallet.

6. Take a genuine interest in donors at all levels of your giving pool. Their passion for and support of your work can inspire you on the toughest days. Make sure you’re in conversation with everyone, not just your major donors. You will not be able to put a dollar value on the lessons learned.

7. Measure return on investment. “We have all the human and financial capital we need to meet our revenue targets," said no Development or Marketing Director ever. There are many ways to measure ROI. Find one that works for you and your stakeholders.

8. It doesn't always have to be perfect, but it does need to get done and be on time. Anyone who has worked with me will assume that I wrote the last sentence under the influence. This is a tough one because who doesn’t want an “A” all the time? I once worked with a CEO who said “Jill, we can take a B+ on this one. But let’s get it done sooner rather than later.” I was horrified. But you know, he was right. And we succeeded in the endeavor nevertheless.  Hundreds of projects and tasks will come across your desk every week. Accept help from your colleagues (See #1) to make whatever it is as perfect as it needs to be before it leaves your office. Done, done and done!

9. Choose your battles with care.  Be prepared to lose once in a while. Trust me. It'll be o.k.

10. Express gratitude. Don’t wait for Thanksgiving or National Personal-Assistant-Who-Works-Too Hard-for-Too-Little-Pay Day to thank all the people who make you and your nonprofit a success. Give regular shout-outs to donors, Board members, co-workers, direct reports and the barista down the street. Write a heartfelt note, leave an unexpected voicemail, throw a pizza party. Make your day by making someone else’s day.